No More Chief Package

WARNING: NAVY JARGON!

Around this time a year ago, I would still be a Navy sailor in my utilities as an Aviation Maintenance Administrationman (AZ) First Class, browsing my OMPF file for the umpteenth time, gathering all the necessary documents for submission to the 2009 Navy Chief Selection Board. I knew the routine, and to be honest with you, I was tired of it. After eight tries, I’d pulled a Boyz II Men and had come to the end of the f*ckin’ road. My retirement was right around the corner. My last shot at khakis.

I thought my chances were…okay. Had the Safe-for-Flight qualification under my belt, passed the last AMI with flying colors, came off a four-year tour on the USS Ronald Reagan. Divisional CFL, Mentorship Coordinator, FEP Instructor. Not too bad, but definitely not great. And unfortunately, I didn’t have that all-important breakout EP.

Before I left the RR, my highest rank was 13 out of 44, which was #5 MP. Wasn’t an LPO at that time, either. Worked in QA…as a CTPL. Yeah, I know. Not the kind of position for a senior AZ to do back flips over. But they recognized me on my eval for doing QAR-related work, overseeing the AZ programs. Ended up with all my programs on-track after the AMI.

But when August came around—the last month of my active duty status—I wasn’t on pins and needles like everyone else in my shoes, biting my nails and sh*t like “will I make it? Will I make it?” Hell no. Matter of fact, I was on terminal leave and had just enjoyed a month-long road trip, a little celebration my girlfriend set up for me. Kinda like a going away party. The way I saw it, I was done with active duty. Twenty years is a long time, but at thirty-seven-years-old, I was young enough to start a brand new chapter in my life.

So when I saw that big “N” (Non Selected) next to my name, I didn’t trip. Mindset wasn’t with it any more: Even if I made it, I would’ve “anchored away” the hell out. No, it’s true. By the time I got the results, I’d packed up my house, sent my belongings up north and put my first home up for sale.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of my service and I owe a great deal of gratitude to the Navy. I receive my retirement, disability and the GI Bill monthly. I did for my country; now my country is doing for me. That’s a cool thing.

But you know what? I can’t lie. Even though I’d made my decision to roll, I still wanted to say, “I made Chief.” A small part of me will be forever pissed that I didn’t.